Pitch Polish Blog Hop - #GUTGAA

In case you forgot, GUTGAA stands for Gearing Up to Get an Agent. In preparation for the agent and small press pitch contests, I'm participating in the pitch polish blog hop. 100 anonymous pitch polish entries will be posted on Deana Barnhart's blog, and the rest of us who'd like help with our pitches are posting them on our own blogs. Let me know what you think about my pitch, and be sure to head over to Deana's blog to help out with some other pitches, too. For the purposes of GUTGAA, the pitch consists of the "meat" of our query letter and the first 150 words of our manuscript. So, without further ado, here's mine!

TITLE: Sorry's Not Enough
GENRE: Commercial New Adult
WORD COUNT: 97,000

PITCH:

If emotional wall-building were an art form, Charlotte would be a grand master. After being betrayed at a young age by the one man she should've been able to trust, she builds an impenetrable fortress of solitude. At least she thinks it's impenetrable, until a summer writing workshop brings Steven into her life. With his obnoxious ego and stupid good looks, he's somehow immune to her Stay the Hell Away from Me pheromones. Even more bizarre is that for the first time, Charlotte can't quite bring herself to really push him away. 

The unexpected romance screeches to a halt when Charlotte and Steven walk into the same classroom at the start of the school year and find themselves on opposite sides of the desk. Steven's quick with the apologies, but sorry doesn't seem to cut it when you've just found yourself cast as a modern day Lolita, you know?

Obviously the universe is telling Charlotte that keeping Steven at arm's length is the only way to avoid getting hurt. Resisting the warmth of his embrace is easier said than done, though, especially when it's evident Steven has no intention of letting her go. 

And so the cycle of their relationship begins. Over the course of several years they share moments as passionate lovers, periods of warm friendship, and months of barely-civil tension. How can she hope to create a healthy relationship with Steven when she's never confronted the relationship that destroyed her ability to trust in the first place? And by the time she finds the courage to do so, will sorry be enough for Steven?

FIRST 150:

Sanguinolent sunset. There's a word you don't see every day. Charlotte circled it with her red pen and drew a smiley at the end of the line, below where she'd called out a different phrase for being trite. She continued making notes in the margin as the others took turns giving feedback. By the time she was done marking up the poem, the paper was also sanguinolent.

She looked up when the group grew quiet. Her turn. She looked down at the poem again and hoped its author wouldn't be offended. What was his name? Steven.

“It's a little confused,” she said. There was a pause and a shuffle of papers.

“What don't you understand?”

She snapped her chin up and was taken aback by the force of his gaze. No adjective could adequately describe the shade of green staring back at her.

“I'm not confused. Your poem is.”

Review: From the Query to the Call

I recently told you about the ebook I purchased, From the Query to the Call, by Elana Johnson.  This is my review, but first I wanted to mention that Elana has just snagged herself an agent!  Congratulations Elana, you definitely deserve it.  Can't wait to be able to hold one of your books in my hands!

Okay, back to her ebook.  I absolutely dread writing query letters.  For Confessions of a Non-Believer, I actually formulated the basic query even before I started writing.  The whole concept just fit very neatly into query format.  I got lucky there.  But Sorry's Not Enough has been a very different story.  It's a very character-driven novel, and while the plot elements (such as the love affair between two people suddenly going very wrong when they're placed in the roles of student and teacher) certainly garner interest, it's really the emotional journey of the characters that's the most important aspect.  Every time I tried to get advice on my query, I got lots of advice saying "sum up the plot" and "cover the important plot points" or "what happens in the story?" and in trying to answer those questions, the query would end up bogged down in pointless details.  When I tried to focus on the emotional elements, people would say "but what happens?" or "too much psycho-analysis" and "do you really know what your book is about?"

Well OF COURSE I know what it's about! 

So, needless to say, query-writing is a high-anxiety activity for me.  I've read a few of Elana's queries before, and had seen her in action critiquing (very insightfully) other people's queries.  I had high hopes for her ebook, then.  And I can happily report that she did not disappoint.

I expected 20, maybe 25 pages of advice on writing a query, but NO.  The book delivers 63 pages on everything from what a query is/is not, why you need one, and how to write one.  Then, it goes on to discuss researching the best agents for your novel, strategies for submitting and surviving the wait, as well as the rejections, and finally, how to handle "the call" when an agent is interested in representing you. 

It is an interactive ebook, with links to the websites of writers whose query letters she uses as examples, websites to help with your query, and websites to help with agent research.  There's also a link to a set of worksheets to help you craft your query.

The query advice is much more than vague statements about what each paragraph should include - which is much of what I'd encountered previously (e.g. Start with a one or two sentence hook, then give a brief summary of the plot.....etc.)  Elana breaks down the query into small, definable, non-threatening parts and dissects them - there's the hook, the set-up, the conflict, and the consequence.  She explains the purpose of each section, and gives examples from her own and other queries.  As the book progresses, you can see the query taking shape from the examples she gives.

One of the best pieces of advice I took from the book is to write the hook last.  I've always tried to crank out a great hook first, which was stressful.  Using the worksheets, I answered the questions necessary to write the hook, but didn't write it until I had finished writing the rest of the query.  It was actually much easier to come up with a hook at the end.  I also had a major a-ha! moment when she pointed out the circular sense of closure that should come from the query - take the hook, add on your consequences sentence, and that should be your book in a nutshell.  Not sure why that never dawned on me before, but it was a great moment.

This book also helped me realize 1. I need to do more research into the agents I submit to, and 2. I need to expand my potential agent list!

So I still have a few minor tweaks to make on my brand new query before I send it out, but if I get a good request rate after I send some out, I'll share it with you all.  Meanwhile, I highly recommend From the Query to the Call for any writer who wants to craft a strong query and who need a little bit of guidance on what to do once you've got a killer query.

Don't forget to check out Elana on her website, and her blog.