10 August 2011

Clothing NOT Optional

Is it hot in here... or is that just your sexy prose awaiting my contest?

As promised, I'm holding a contest here on the blog, and there are even prizes. That's right, I said prizeS, plural! I did not find the big book of erotic short stories that I originally planned to give away (but when I do, I'll just have to have another contest!) and it dawned on me that instead of picking one of my two alternate prize books, I should just offer them both as prizes!

First, I'll tell you how to win, and then I'll tell you what you can win.

Write me something short and sexy. Maximum 1200 words. Fill me with heat and desire until I'm squirming in my chair.

BUT....

No one is allowed to get naked in your story. You heard me. No nudity. You don't have to write a full-on dry humping scene or anything-- think outside the box! Kinky or vanilla; solo act, a couple, or a group; see it through to orgasm or leave 'em wanting more; doesn't matter to me, as long as it gets me hot and bothered and your characters keep their clothes on!

Submit your short stories directly to me via email (see it up there, top left corner of the page?) by August 20, at 11:59pm August 22, at 9:00am. Be sure to include Clothing not optional as the subject line, so I don't accidentally look over it or delete it. I will acknowledge receipt of all entries, so if you don't hear back from me within two days of your email (or by the contest deadline) send it again and let me know. From there, I'll narrow it down to a group of finalists (at least five, but I reserve the right to be fickle and include more, if I'm so inclined) and the finalists will be posted here on my blog for public voting. By submitting to this contest, you agree to me posting your story here should you become a finalist.

Why on earth would I torture you with a contest like this? A couple reasons. I was partially inspired when I wrote Chapter Nine of The Skeleton Key as part of the Round Robin Blogvel. Obviously, I would've loved to take things waaaay over to the erotic side, but it wouldn't have fit with the story so far. And I didn't want to alienate anyone following along with the story who wouldn't normally read erotica. So I wanted to get a little sexy without anyone getting naked (although I expect you, my dear readers, to take the heat level up even more than I did!)

My main motivation for hosting this contest with these parameters, though, ties in with the first place prize. Let's look at these problems:
  • Some people are embarrassed to try writing erotica, or are too embarrassed to admit it when they do. Just because you're a nice girl like me (or guy, for that matter) doesn't mean you can't write erotica. 
  • When writing erotica, some people might be uncomfortable branching out from "polite" sex - you know, married couple, missionary position in bed sort of thing. Or we let gender roles, stereotypes, and other cultural norms about sexuality dictate our writing too much. 
  • Even if you're comfortable writing the graphic, nitty gritty bits of erotica, you might fall into a rut. Maybe it's always the same position, or the same location, or the same sequence of events in the seduction.
With this contest, I want to challenge you on all those points. By keeping your characters clothes on, maybe you'll be a little less embarrassed if this is your first attempt at writing anything erotic. It also forces you to consider the multitude of alternatives when it comes to setting, positions, and even what you consider appropriate and sexy (outside the context of actual intercourse.)

Finally, we get to the prizes!

First place wins a copy of Wetlands, by Charlotte Roche. Here's a brief  description of the main character from inside the dust jacket:
Guerrilla warrior against the sanitized version of femininity prescribed by women's magazines, punky and alienated teenager, vulnerable daughter, shock merchant, and pleasure seeker--Helen is all of these things and more, and her frequent attempts to assert her maturity ultimately prove just how fragile, confused, and young she truly is.
Whoever wins this book, I hope they can set aside any embarrassment or disgust at some of Helen's actions and finish the book through to the end, and use it as a way to examine how your own ideas about femininity, sex/sexuality, etc. may bleed into your writing, erotic or not.

The runner-up will receive a copy of Agent Provocateur: Secrets, which is a collection of nine erotic short stories. Agent Provocateur is a London boutique cofounded by Joseph Corre and Serena Rees. According to the book's dustjacket:
As the name suggests, they set out provocatively to change people's attitude that anything to do with sex must be sleazy or smutty and to encourage us to be proud of our bodies and our fantasies. Their vision for their series of erotic fiction is to create a stimulating, enchanting, and arousing experience that reflects our sensual yearnings.
So who's in? I know you all want a chance to win one of these books, right? I'm not requiring anyone to follow this blog, like my Facebook page, tweet or blog about the contest, or jump through any other hoops in order to enter this contest. I kinda hate those contests where you have to do sixty bajillion things to enter haha. That said, I would certainly appreciate it if you spread the word to your friends and networks about the contest!

To recap:
  • What: Clothing NOT Optional - sexy stories where no one gets naked
  • Word count: 1200 words maximum
  • Deadline: August 20, 2011 at 11:59pm UPDATE: Deadline extended to 8/22 at 9am Eastern
  • How to submit: email me at the address at the top of this page (on the left) with "clothing not optional" in the subject line (go ahead and send as an attachment)
  • How winners are chosen: Finalists selected by me, then posted online for pubic votes
  • Prizes: 1st place: Wetlands, by Charlotte Roche; 2nd place: erotic short story collection, Agent Provocateur: Secrets

I will be anxiously awaiting your steamy submissions!

08 August 2011

A Contest Conundrum and a Blog Award

Last week I promised you all a fabulous contest here at Jello World... you may have noticed that I haven't posted said contest. Here's why:

I can't find the prize book! I know it's here, somewhere, shoved in one of the boxes still left from the move. Since I couldn't find the book I wanted to use, I figured I'd use a different erotic short story collection that I recently purchased. I just had to read it first. It's not that long, so I read it over two days. But although most of the stories were good, they weren't all as great as the book I can't find. And I don't want to give an inferior prize!

Then I thought of this other book I have that might work. It's not erotica, but I think anyone considering writing erotica should read it. It is, quite frankly, shockingly gross in some parts. I have to admit, though, that it was a pivotal book for me in terms of my attitude about writing erotica and my thoughts on what is sexy, and so forth. It's a book that challenges you to examine your thoughts and beliefs about women's bodies, standards of beauty and hygiene, and how those types of things may or may not affect the way you write about sex and sexuality.

So where's the conundrum? It's here: Do I give away a short story collection that is good, but not necessarily great, or do I give away a book that is NOT sexy, and that some may find downright distasteful, but that I think could prove valuable to an aspiring writer of erotica?

What do you think? I'll be thinking on it a little more before I post the contest. If I find the other book in the meantime, I'll continue with that as the prize, as originally intended.

Next order of business: I've been graced with the Liebster Blog Award! It was bestowed upon me by my friend Dean at The Write Time. Thanks, Dean!


What is a Liebster Blog Award, you ask? It's an award to spotlight up and coming bloggers who currently have less than 200 followers. The rules of the award are:
  1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
  2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
  3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
  4. Have faith that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.
  5. And most of all - have bloggity-blog fun!
In the spirit of the award, here are my top five picks for blogs/writers you should all check out! There are a couple here that I'm shocked don't have 200 followers yet!
  1. Join Riley Redgate In the Jungle as the talented teen gives her take on everything writing, with wit and wisdom beyond her years. We share a bizarre affinity for Rebecca Black's "Friday", and that should be reason enough for you to check out her blog!
  2. Author Maxwell Cynn muses on the art and business of writing with tips for writers and reviews for readers. I'm two-thirds of the way through his steamy sci-fi novel Cybrgrrl and it is HOT! He's slowing it down on the social media front at the moment, gearing up for a fall release of a new book, and working on Cybrgrrl 2.0.
  3. Go Crossing the Helix with R.C. Lewis to learn about her adventures in YA and more. Chances are you'll learn something interesting, as her posts often draw from her non-writing life as a math teacher to deaf students. Math geek + word nerd = R.C. Lewis
  4. Peruse The Elephant's Bookshelf, where Matt Sinclair discusses his cherished books and stories, and invites you to share yours as well.
  5. Let Calista Taylor guide you through A Steampunk Reverie. Cali has plans to release her first novel, Viridis, in the near future, and I assure you, you do NOT want to miss it! If you like steampunk (even if you don't know what that is, you'll love this) and steamy romance, this is for you.
Go forth! Visit and follow these blogs! Tell them JLo sent you ;-)

01 August 2011

Chapter 9 of The Skeleton Key, a Round Robin Blogvel

I missed a bit of a milestone recently... My last blog post was the big 100! And what did I post about? Panties. :-\ Whoops. But I have a fantastic post number 101 for you today with chapter nine of the Round Robin Blogvel! AND... stay tuned later this week for a special contest!

Back to the Round Robin Blogvel - what on earth is it, you ask? It's a traveling blog novel started by the funny and talented Michelle Simkins. She started us off with a killer first chapter, and it has been progressing each week with a new chapter from a different blogger! If you're following along, make sure you're caught up! Chapter eight was posted last week by Jennifer Merritt at The Demeter Diaries, and the next post will be next Monday at Laura's Universe. Click the Round Robin Blogvel tab at the top of the page for a full list (with links!) of previous chapters.

Without further ado, I present to you Chapter Nine of The Skeleton Key!

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Fear seizes my heart for a beat. I look around, searching for whoever could be setting off the magical metal detector. How am I supposed to know? I don't see any obvious ghouls or goblins. Then again, if I've learned anything today, it's that monsters don't always look monstrous.

The person in front of me in line moves to the side after paying, and the cashier looks at me. I look at the still-thrumming hummer, then at the food. I was dumped into the middle of this inter-species war against my will, and I've seen things I’m still not sure are real. Whether to eat or follow the hummer's signal really shouldn't be a question worth debating. And yet it is.

Dammit! The food smells so good. I'd kill for just one noodle. Damn the vampires and prophetesses and Nerbils and the rest of the creatures. I smile at the clerk, ducking my head sheepishly as I step out of line. And damn Ax for dragging me here and leaving me alone! I could use that broad, muscular chest to lean on right now... I mean – damn!

The hummer buzzes more loudly now, drawing my thoughts back to my predicament. What do I do? Do I take it out? It looks a little weird, and I don't want to draw attention to myself. But as I walk away from the food cart with one hand buried in my purse, fingers wrapped around the hummer to feel any changes in the vibration, I feel a little ridiculous. How creepy must I look, walking around with my hand shoved into my mysteriously buzzing bag? Like I’m hiding some freaky sex toy. It is called a hummer, after all.

I try to walk at a normal pace, which is hard to do when you have no clue where you're going. After stopping, turning, and starting again three times, the hummer's signal intensifies and stays steady. I keep walking, searching the people and buildings for a sign. But what sign? Ax and I obviously need some time together for hummer instruction.

The thought stops me in my tracks and I laugh out loud, unable to help myself. A few people turn to look at me, the crazy laughing girl with one hand permanently stuck inside her vibrating purse. Before my traitorous body can fully react to the thought of me, Ax, and a hummer, the signal stops. Gone. Sayonara.

The smooth metal is hot in my hand, but I don't dare take it out to look at it. It feels like it's permanently attached to my palm, I've been gripping it so hard.

Bzzt.

The signal flickers through again, for only a second. I turn around, looking back the way I came. Where in the hell am I? I was so focused on following the signal that I didn't pay attention to street signs or landmarks – not that I could've recognized any of them anyway, but still.

Bzzzzt.

Another brief signal. Or maybe I’m imagining it? When I was in college, I kept my cell phone in my pocket on vibrate so Ashley and I could text back and forth. Sometimes I got phantom vibrations against my hip when I didn't have my phone there.

Bzzt. Bzzzzzzzz.

Nope. Not a phantom sensation. But no way do I want to follow it any more. I need to find my way back to Ax's condo. Somehow. Hummer be damned. I walk slowly, unsure of which direction I’m heading, and try desperately to ignore the staccato buzzing in my palm.

Let it go, genius! But I can't. An irrational fear has my fingers clamped around the ancient device, like its random vibrations are pointing me home. A few hours ago I would've been glad to be rid of Ax forever, but now he's the only person – dragon – I want to see. At least if he was here I'd know I'm safe. And he could tell me how the hell to use this damn thing. I don't suppose they bothered to write instruction manuals back in the 1800s.

Heartbeat. Footsteps. Buzz. Buzz. Heart beats faster. Feet move faster. Buzz. BUZZ! I’m a walking symphony of terror. If I drop to my knees in the street and yell Ax's name, will he magically find me? I'll never see the people around me again (I hope), so what do I care if they think I’m a raving lunatic? I feel like a raving lunatic.

Turning into a deserted alleyway – because my feet are following the hummer's signals despite my brain's admonitions about every horror movie we've ever seen – I smack into a brick wall and let out a sissy-girl shriek. The brick wall puts its arms around me and the scream dies in my throat.

“Ax!”

“Rebecca, what are you doing?”

“I—me? What?” There are no coherent thoughts in my brain at the moment. Just a mix of joy and subsiding fear.

“I got back and your sister was hysterical, crying that you'd left here there hours ago and she didn't know where you were.” He smooths my hair back from my face, but doesn't loosen his grip on me. His voice is stern, verging on angry, but I can hear the smooth edge of genuine concern in there. “Where have you been? Are you okay?”

“I was just—I didn't mean—it was this thing!” I pull my hand from my purse and thrust it toward his face. My fingers are still clamped firmly – and painfully – around the hummer. “Oh my god!”

The skin is blistered and red, stuck to the metal in places, and steaming every so slightly. My stomach turns, partially because I still haven't eaten, and partially because it doesn't hurt nearly as much as it probably should, and that freaks me out.

“What happened?” Ax's eyes are wide.

“I don't know. I swear.”

He pulls me farther into the alley without a word, away from the prying eyes of anyone passing by on the main sidewalk, and draws me into his chest again. I feel the heat and know what's coming.



I’m beginning to get used to traveling by fire. The heat is nice, in a way. Ax swooshes us back to his condo and manages to separate me and the hummer without much pain. A little magical salve, and my hand is almost back to normal after fifteen minutes.

Now we're sitting on giant pillows on the living room floor, with steaming mugs of tea, trying to figure out what happened. Ashley is asleep in the guest room – Ax had sedated her before he left because she was so hysterical.

“You shouldn't have been able to do that,” he says, boring into me with those red-gold eyes.

“Do what?” I hadn't done anything. Not on purpose, anyway. I'd explained everything that happened, but it still didn't make any sense to me. And he's sure taking his sweet time explaining what he thought happened.

“I think, in your fear, you manipulated the hummer's magic to find my signal.” A smile plays at the corner of his mouth. I can't decide if it's adorable or irritating. I nearly burnt my hand to a crisp, after all. Not really a laughing matter. He presses a finger to my forehead. “There is magic in there, somewhere.”

Me? Magical? Does that mean I’m a monster?

Listen to me! Yesterday I would've laughed in someone's face if they said I possessed magic powers. Today the only thing I wonder is if it makes me a big bad monster. Although not all monsters are bad.

Ax still stares at me with those eyes that threaten to boil the blood in my veins in the most delicious way.

Big, yes. Not bad.

“You know, that hummer is almost two hundred years old. And you nearly managed to ruin it,” he said.

Oh, right! Leave it to the stupid mortal girl to screw things up! I react before I register the smirk on his face, but by then it's too late. I can't put the scalding tea back in the cup.

“Oh god, Ax! Did I hurt you?” I kneel beside him and use the bottom of my shirt to mop his face. I guess it takes more than a cup of tea to scald a dragon. But I doubt he still wants me for a mate now. “Oh shit, I’m sorry.”

He tosses his head back and laughs. And laughs. Oh god, does he laugh. The sound echoes in the room, bright and yet deep, like a perfectly tuned brass ensemble. If I wasn't right there, seeing it for myself, I never would've thought he could be so joyous. Dragons are always so doom and gloom in the movies. Nothing like this. And I've never seen a dragon with a dimple like that.

Did I not notice it before, or has he just never smiled like this before? A gorgeous little dimple puckers his left cheek. It's small, but it softens the chiseled lines of his face. He looks so damn... cute! There's no other word for it. Impulsively, I lean forward and press my lips to his cheek, right to his dimple. His laughter softens to the tinkling of wind chimes, but it reverberates inside my chest, filling me with a gentle hum that spreads to the top of my head and the tips of my toes.

Is this what he meant when he said I hum?

Ax turns his face so our lips nearly touch, but he doesn't kiss me. His breath is hot against my lips. What I wouldn't give to be consumed by that fire. The vibrations in my chest begin to subside, but I don't want them to stop.

“Ax?”

His eyelashes flutter and when he looks into my eyes, I see his are mostly red now. The gold is but a thin ring around his pupils. I nip gently at his lower lip.

“Ax.” I straddle his lap and he wraps his arms around me. “Hum for me.”

He kisses me with the force of a Mack truck, and I return the urgency. His lips are hot against mine, and everywhere his hands touch – my face, my arms, sliding up under my shirt now – my skin comes alive with the flame of desire. I bury my hands in his hair and hold tight. It's definitely coming from him, the humming. But it's not a sound so much as a sensation. Pressed together cheek to cheek, chest to chest, I can feel every very male, very human part of him against me. And yet his energy fills me until we hum together and I can't tell where he ends and I begin.

An ear-splitting scream slices through our cocoon of heat and I nearly fall backward.

“What did you do to her?” Ashley stands before us, wide-eyed and trembling, as if Ax had just devoured me before her eyes.

He and I are both still fully clothed, but I feel exposed and embarrassed nonetheless. Ax looks a little drunk, and blinks as though to clear his vision. I feel a little drunk, like my head is perched precariously on top of the rest of my body and may fall off at any moment.

“Ash, what are you--” I see it at the same time Ax does.

He grabs my arm and turns it this way and that. The silver-blue iridescence is beautiful. Almost beautiful enough to distract me from the fact that between my wrist and my elbow, I've sprouted scales.

18 July 2011

Everything You Wanted to Know About My Panties... Sort Of

Simmer down now, class, it's not as racy as it sounds. This is yet another meme, this time thought up by the delightfully deviant Michelle Simkins, although if you believe her story, it was all Twitter peer pressure that made her do it. Something about goats and panties... We all knew it was bound to happen one of these days :-P

So Michelle tagged Suzanne, and Suzanne tagged me. So here we go!

What do you call your panties/underwear/undergarments? Do you have any commonly used nicknames for them?
Pantaloons! Just kidding. I just call them panties or underwear (under there!) Nothing fancy.

Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?
No, I don't think so. I've had dreams where I was inexplicably topless, but that's it. And I haven't had any of those types of insecurity dreams in a long time.

What is the worst thing you can think of to make panties out of?
Hair clippings. Hair splinters, anyone?? Yikes.

If you were a pair of panties, what color would you be, and WHY?
I would be lime green, because it is awesomesauce. Best. Color. Ever. For ANYTHING.

Have you ever thrown your panties/underwear at a rock star or other celebrity? If so, which one(s)? If not, which one(s) WOULD you throw your panties/underwear at, given the opportunity?
I have never thrown my panties at anyone. The only time I want my panties being thrown is if Dr. Spencer Reid (Matthew Gray Gubler) is tossing them back to me after a steamy night of geek loving.
I mean, c'mon... Those boyish good looks. The suggestive way his double action revolver juts from his hip like that... Oh, sorry, what? Where was I...


You’re out of clean panties. What do you do?
Wash some? Seems like the smart thing to do...


Are you old enough to remember Underoos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?
I do know what they are, but I never had any.

If you could have any message printed on your panties, what would it be?
SLOW DOWN ;-)

How many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat?
Four - Two to wrangle the goat, one to slip the panties on, and one to blog and tweet about it.


Tag Four People and tell them why you are being so cruel to them.

1. Dawn Sparrow because she's one of my crazy AQC/Twitter friends who has so far been spared from this silly panty meme.

2. T.L. Tyson because I think she's fun and awesome and needs to be introduced to the Twitter #goatposse

3. Darke Conteur because she needs to take time to do this so that I'll have time to catch up to her on the short story publications (yeah, right lol)

4. Kacimari because she's another AQCer who should get in on the fun! (UPDATE: Riley Redgate tagged Kacimari with the meme yesterday... so instead of me thinking of someone else to tag, she just gets to be extra special tagged!)

So go forth and answer the panty meme questions, and tag four more bloggers!

(As a side note, please read this hilarious response to the evil goat panty meme for a load of laughs.)

And that, my dear readers, is the end of the memes. I swear. Next person to tag me in a meme will be shot on sight. Or forced to put panties on a goat. I haven't decided.

16 July 2011

Bring on the Memes!

I was tagged in two separate memes circulating around the blogs of my writing buddies, so I figured I should play along. This first one comes to you courtesy of Dean, who recently guest posted here about time management. You can read his meme answers here. Now I'm going to be a total party-pooper and not do the tagging thing at the end of this (I know, boo, hiss, groan, I'm soooo lame haha) because 1. I feel like 8 people is a lot, and 2. I'm willing to bet everything I can think to tag has already been tagged. But feel free to copy the questions if you want to continue the meme-tagging! You can copy the tagging questions from Dean's post. Without further ado, bring on the memes!

If you could go back in time and relive one moment, what would it be?

Hmmm, this is a difficult one. I guess I would say my wedding, which is a lot of moments rolled into one day. It went by so fast, that I'd love to go back and experience it again.

If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

I don't think I'd change anything. Every experience I've had, good or bad, has helped shape me into who I am today, and I wouldn't change that. I've learned from the bad stuff, so I can't regret them. That said, I'll pick a tiny thing: my senior year in high school I was seriously crushing on this freshman guy, but I never did much about it. So if I could change that, I'd go back and say "Hey, I really like you." It probably wouldn't affect much of my future (although you know what they say about a butterfly flapping its wings...) but it would've made another nice little memory of that time.

What movie/tv character do you most resemble in personality?

I honestly don't know. This might be a better question for someone else to answer about me. I always loved Daria, though. I think we're kind of alike in certain ways.

If you could push one person off a cliff and get away with it, who would it be?

The man who decided that the soap dish thingy should be in the middle of the wall in the shower, where the soap is constantly getting wet, instead of on the far wall, away from the spray. Didn't he realize that by putting the soap dish there, he all but guaranteed premature soap dissolve? Sheesh.

Name one habit you want to change in yourself.

I tend to be a bit indecisive, especially when faced with a multitude of choices. Sometimes it's good that I take my time before making a choice, but sometimes I really just need to get over myself and pick something already. Like when I'm out to dinner. Stick me in a restaurant with an extensive menu (it really doesn't even have to be that extensive) and watch me sweat lol.

Describe yourself in one word.

Easygoing

Describe the person who named you in this meme in one word.

Sweetheart!

Why do you blog? Answer in one sentence.

"I write in order to find out what I know" - Patricia Hampl

Who am I tagging?

Nobody! Because I'm a party pooper. I usually don't even participate in these types of things (but how could I turn down a nice guy like Dean?) Seriously, like those email chain memes and stuff. The buck most definitely stops with me. Sorry :-P But I have another meme coming up that I may tag a few people for, so stay tuned!

Meme The Second:

Are you hot?


Totally. It's like 80 degrees in here right now. :-P

Upload a picture or wall paper you are using at the moment.

I don't have any wallpaper on my computer, so here's the most recent pic I took with my phone.



When was the last time you ate chicken meat?

Umm... I think it was about a week and a half ago? I had it on a salad.

The Song(s) you listened to recently?

Già il sole dal Gange, Nel cor più non mi sento, Come raggio di sol, and a few other Italian arias. I want to audition for a choir, so I'm trying to pick a song for the audition (refer to the indecisiveness I mentioned above lol)

What were you thinking as you were doing this?

That I really wish Blogger would stop messing with the font and formatting and just do what I want already and stop making me go into the html to fix stuff!

Do you have nicknames?

Jen, J.Lo, and jello